A regular dispatch of essays, criticism, and (pop) cultural ephemera, compiled and mixed by Norman Brannon.

posts tagged “im more of a dog person actually”:

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2.22.2010

hman: Two monkeys. Sorry, but this is cuter than any of your kitten pics. This photo got a whole bunch of “likes” this morning on Tumblr — most obviously from people who have never spent time living alongside the Indian monkey power structure. I, too, once thought these monkeys were cute. But then one day, while walking through a small village in Mathura, I was surrounded by four of them. They stared at me as if I were edible, and when the leader of the pack hissed — baring his teeth — I began to think they did, in fact, plan to eat me. A friend yelled at me hysterically: “Drop the Frooti box! Drop the box!” I looked down to see I was holding a mango drink in a bright orange juice box; their eyes were on the prize. I hurled the box as far away from me as possible and they chased after it dutifully — at which point I ran for my life. None of this, mind you, was cute. A few years later, a friend of mine and her son were walking down a similar path in Mathura when another one of these monkeys ran up to her, grabbed her leg, and bit through several layers of sari fabric directly into her skin. Tetanus shots are also not cute. Make no mistake: If these monkeys were awake when hman took the picture, they would have ripped the camera from his hands and slapped him in the face. Matthew Gallaway’s cats, I can assure you, would just never do that.

hman:

Two monkeys.

Sorry, but this is cuter than any of your kitten pics.

This photo got a whole bunch of “likes” this morning on Tumblr — most obviously from people who have never spent time living alongside the Indian monkey power structure. I, too, once thought these monkeys were cute. But then one day, while walking through a small village in Mathura, I was surrounded by four of them. They stared at me as if I were edible, and when the leader of the pack hissed — baring his teeth — I began to think they did, in fact, plan to eat me.

A friend yelled at me hysterically: “Drop the Frooti box! Drop the box!”

I looked down to see I was holding a mango drink in a bright orange juice box; their eyes were on the prize. I hurled the box as far away from me as possible and they chased after it dutifully — at which point I ran for my life. None of this, mind you, was cute.

A few years later, a friend of mine and her son were walking down a similar path in Mathura when another one of these monkeys ran up to her, grabbed her leg, and bit through several layers of sari fabric directly into her skin. Tetanus shots are also not cute.

Make no mistake: If these monkeys were awake when hman took the picture, they would have ripped the camera from his hands and slapped him in the face. Matthew Gallaway’s cats, I can assure you, would just never do that.