The headline alone kind of makes my head explode, but it’s true. It also inspired me to do some googling, where I inadvertently wound up on this fake Wiki page for Euronymous — the fellow black-metaller that Varg went to jail for murdering. Among the funnier excerpts is a description of “Necrospace” — “a sort of ‘black Myspace’ where lonely black metal artists and fans could chat and swap information about their favourite type of music” — and this description of the pair’s falling out:

Feeling lonely, Varg decided to go home and watch cartoons on TV. But as he walked away from Euronymous’ house, he turned back and saw the curtains of his friend’s bedroom twitch. Euronymous had been in all along, and was just avoiding him! That evening, Varg signed on to Necrospace, and found Euronymous on the chatroom. At first, Euronymous wouldn’t tell him what was going on, but eventually it all came out. After Varg had left on the night they burnt the church, Euronymous had discovered that some of his Pokemons were missing. Not just any Pokemons either — his favourite ones. Varg tried in vain to convince him that he hadn’t taken them, and anyway, he already had those ones, so why would he steal them? But it was no good. Euronymous had made up his mind that Varg was a thief, and he had convinced everyone else on Necrospace that this was the case. Varg signed out of the chat and cried himself to sleep.

I still love you, Internet.