Nervous Acid

One day you’re in, the next day you’re out. Now...

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 16:04:00 -0400

One day you’re in, the next day you’re out.

Now I’ve heard everything: Gaahl — the self-proclaimed Satanic vocalist for Gorgoroth and convicted blood-drinker — has teamed up with modeling agent Dan DeVero to design a Norwegian clothing collection for women. “I have always been preoccupied with aesthetics and what is beautiful,” says Gaahl, the songwriter behind pretty ballads like “Procreating Satan,” “Incipit Satan,” and “Forces of Satan Storms.” “This collection will bring out the elegant and the feminine in women.”

Six People Who Just Fucking Disappeared.

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:55:00 -0400

Six People Who Just Fucking Disappeared.: All this time I thought Richey Manic was the only one genius enough to have pulled off this feat, but then I found out that 306 sailors dropped off the planet in 1918 and were never found again. Which is cool, but they didn’t write a song called “Ifwhiteamericatoldthetruthforonedayit’sworldwouldfallapart” before they disappeared.

The Chemical Brothers “Midnight Madness” To be...

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:45:00 -0400

The Chemical Brothers “Midnight Madness”

To be frank, house music videos generally bore me. (Except for “Flat Beat,” which is basically the cute ‘n’ furry exception to every rule.) So when Kanye West posted this video up on his blog — saying only, “YOU MUST SEE THIS!!!! HOW DID THEY DO IT??” — I was like, “Oh word?” Dude wasn’t lying.

Which is crazier? Chrisafer captures a screengrab from last...

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:34:00 -0400

Which is crazier?

Chrisafer captures a screengrab from last night’s Project Runway in which a viewer’s poll deems “Blayne’s Tanorexia” crazier than “Suede Using The Third Person” — except for the fact that Blayne’s 37-percent is lower than Suede’s 47-percent. Still, voters be damned! Blayne’s tanorexia makes Michael Kors look pale. (via Flickr)

Grand opening in Beirut: Fast-food Terrorism.

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:29:00 -0400

Grand opening in Beirut: Fast-food Terrorism.: At Buns ‘n’ Guns — a war-themed café in Beirut — you can place an order for a Grenade (grilled chicken with fries) or a Kalashnikov (beef burger on “terrorist” bread) — cooked by chefs in military fatigues and served with a soundtrack of explosions and gun fire over the PA. Their marketing slogan? “A Sandwich Can Kill You.”

Christian Falk feat. Robyn & Ola Salo “Dream...

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:37:00 -0400

Christian Falk feat. Robyn & Ola Salo “Dream On”

It’s been a while since I gushed over Robyn, right? Well, I just discovered this album by Christian Falk that she sings on and I’ll be damned if I didn’t fall in love all over again. So don’t resist. I know you love her.

The music industry crisis is over!

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:27:53 -0400

Leave it to Avril Lavigne and 2.2 million Americans in jail to figure out how to make money off this dying career. Lavigne’s management reports that the singer recently pocketed over $2 million from YouTube — which is money generated from almost 100,000,000 plays of the video for her single “Girlfriend.” But why stop there?

With £1m on its way from YouTube, Nettwerk Management still isn’t done with the Lavigne video. They are now targeting Asia, explains Terry McBride: “We will start a Mandarin website with Mandarin ads and we will make a shitload of money, because 40% of her intellectual property value comes from Asia.”

As for Pack Central owner Bob Paris, he’s found that you can still consistently earn $1 million a year by selling cassettes. It’s easy when your target demographic is locked up:

Cassettes account for about 60% of unit sales, since CDs are contraband in many prisons because the hard plastics can be used for nefarious means. The screws that hold many cassettes together are also verboten, so Paris must manually remove them.

“I have dodged every conventional bullet that has hit most music retailers,” Paris says. “I don’t have to worry about downloading, legal or illegally. The beauty of it is that prisoners don’t have Internet access and never will.”

British authors are not as well-read as you’d suspect. As...

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:12:00 -0400

British authors are not as well-read as you’d suspect.

As someone who returned to college after 17 years and is currently neck-deep in Shakespeare, Dickinson, and Yeats — none of which I’d actually read before — I got a huge kick out of this collection of British authors giving sheepish answers to the question “What’s the book you’re most ashamed of never having read?” But special props to the dude who graduated from his prestigious university on the back of a well-received analysis of Wuthering Heights — a book he has still yet to read.

McCain Makes Historic First Visit to Internet.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:51:00 -0400

McCain Makes Historic First Visit to Internet.: “I can’t get this [expletive] thing to work,” Sen. McCain said as he struggled with his computer’s mouse, causing his wife Cindy to prompt him to add that he was “just kidding.”

Dancers in the dark.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:27:00 -0400

Michaelangelo Matos reprinted Mixmag’s Top 25 Dance Tunes of the Last 25 Years over at Idolator this morning, and his commentary was largely on point. There was no mention, however, of the sheer lack of American records in the top ten. (Josh Wink’s “Higher State of Consciousness” is untouchable, but Armand Van Helden’s Tori Amos remix? Not so much.) Okay, yes, I get it: Mixmag is a British magazine. But it was their country’s widespread acceptance of Chicago house and Detroit techno that ultimately paved the way for the U.K. acid house explosion — and, truth be told, even most of the best records from that era were left behind. So who made the cut?

1. Underworld “Born Slippy” (Junior Boys Own, 1994; reissued 1996)
2. Massive Attack “Unfinished Sympathy” (Wild Bunch/Virgin, 1991)
3. Stardust “Music Sounds Better with You” (Roulé, 1998)
4. Energy 52 “Café Del Mar” (Eye Q, 1993)
5. Prodigy “Smack My Bitch Up” (XL, 1997)
6. Wink “Higher State of Consciousness” (Strictly Rhythm, 1995)
7. Laurent Garnier “The Man with the Red Face” (F Communications, 2000)
8. Liquid “Sweet Harmony” (XL, 1991)
9. Faithless “Insomnia” (Cheeky, 1996)
10. Tori Amos “Professional Widow (Armand’s Star Trunkin’ Funk Mix)” (Atlantic, 1996)

First of all, I’ve been listening to house music for 13 years, with at least six of those years spent working in dance record stores, and up until now I’d never heard Liquid’s “Sweet Harmony.” After a quick search on YouTube, I understand why Mixmag readers might deem it “important”: there are elements of what later became drum ‘n’ bass, U.K. garage, and dubstep on this record. Unfortunately, it’s also kinda terrible.

As far as the rest of the list goes, I’d argue that if Massive Attack’s “Unfinished Sympathy” belongs on this list, then so does Janet Jackson’s “What Have You Done For Me Lately.” (You can dance to it, sure, but is it really dance music?) I’d also replace Laurent Garnier’s “The Man With the Red Face” with “Acid Eiffel,” which was both artist-defining and genre-defining. And Energy 52, Liquid, Faithless, and Van Helden would be thrown out altogether. (Technically, the whole list is rubbish, but I’m playing nice with Mixmag readers.) So that leaves five slots open. Pay attention, England: here is what you forgot.

• Frankie Knuckles “Your Love” (feat. Jamie Principle) (Persona, 1986)

It was the perfect confluence of Chicago house, German electro, and American disco — and it came out at a time when Huey Lewis & The News were making number-one hits. To say that “Your Love” was the work of a dance music visionary is an understatment: If this record came out today, it would still be hailed as forward-thinking.

• The Fog “Been A Long Time” (Miami Soul, 1993)

Before the internet, the house music sound in America was largely a regional thing: Chicago jack, New York soul, San Francisco deep. But Miami’s Murk took advantage of their geography by appropriating all of it and giving back a kind of electronic disco that you just don’t hear anymore — not even from them. “Been A Long Time” is the quintessential diva track, and if I had to choose, might possibly be my favorite house track of all time.

• Henrik Schwarz, Âme & Dixon feat. Derrick L. Carter “Where We At” (Version 1) (Innervisions, 2006)

I was surprised to see that the oldest track in Mixmag’s top ten was from 2000 — as if there were no classics to appear in the past eight years. Clearly, that was an oversight. Derrick Carter’s “Where U At?” gained instant classic status when it came out in 2002, but this 2006 German remix made it onto my list for its universal quality. Unlike the original mix — which was probably Derrick’s most successfully executed Chicago boompty track ever — this version speaks to house and techno purists alike. Plus, you’ll lose your mind hearing it on a system.

• Dubtribe Sound System “Do It Now” (Imperial Dub, 2000)

If you think disco died at Comiskey Park in 1979, you just missed out on thirty years of classic records. No modern disco record killed me as hard in recent memory as Dubtribe’s “Do It Now” — an astonishing mix of live instruments and programming that pretty much makes me forget where I am for the almost 14 minutes it takes to listen to it. Life-alteringly epic, in my opinion.

• Bobby Konders “Nervous Acid” (Massive B, 1992)

Acid house wasn’t new when Bobby Konders released “Nervous Acid” in 1992, but he certainly revolutionized the sound, making it possible for Wink’s “Higher State of Consciousness” and pretty much every acid freak-out record to follow. But why is it one of the ten best dance records of the past 25 years? Because there has never been another inside cut on a five-song 12” that has been nearly as influential and epoch-making — and there may never be another.

Pitchfork is finally funny. Because banality is the name of...

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:45:00 -0400

Pitchfork is finally funny.

Because banality is the name of Black Kids game, somebody had to do it.

A picture of 1,000 words. Wordle takes your website, prose, or...

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:04:00 -0400

A picture of 1,000 words.

Wordle takes your website, prose, or drunk-text rant and turns it into customizable art. Shown here: My interpretation of Nervous Acid’s current front page. Personally, I can see a silkscreened poster coming out of this. (via)

In sickness and in health.

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:37:00 -0400

Two articles that interested me on a personal tip: The Nose That Never Knows is the first story I’ve ever read about anosmia — which is the nasal equivalent of being blind. I lost my sense of smell after a brain injury in 2003, and in spite of the fact that I knew mine wasn’t the first anosmia case in the world, it never occurred to me that other people actually wrote about it. I particularly nodded my head to this excerpt:

“Not being able to smell yourself makes personal hygiene incredibly stressful. I’ve never read an account from an anosmic that doesn’t cover this embarrassing topic. Even after the usual grooming ritual — shower, deodorant, teeth brushing — I still have a nagging fear that I’ve missed something.… I’ve also found that life is more dangerous. I’ve burned food and melted pots so many times I should be declared a walking fire hazard. Like most anosmics, I view any gas appliance as an archnemesis. I’ve become compulsive about making sure my gas stove is really on when I turn the dial.”

Someday I’ll tell you about the time I walked into a smoke-filled kitchen, looked for a fire, just opened a window, and went upstairs — mournfully resigned to the idea that I might die of carbon monoxide poisoning in a few hours.

Also of interest to me was Why Migraines Strike, which provides some new — to me, at least — speculation about the source of these headaches, from which I’ve suffered since I was a child. They’re mostly under control now, or at least much less frequent, but it still feels nice to know that I am in the company of Joan Didion:

For the more than 300 million people who suffer migraines, the excruciating, pulsating pain that characterizes these debilitating headaches needs no description. For those who do not, the closest analogous experience might be severe altitude sickness: nausea, acute sensitivity to light, and searing, bed-confining headache. “That no one dies of migraine seems, to someone deep into an attack, an ambiguous blessing,” wrote Joan Didion in the 1979 essay “In Bed” from her collection The White Album. Didion wrote it almost three decades ago, but some physicians remain as dismissive today as they were then: “For I had no brain tumor, no eyestrain, no high blood pressure, nothing wrong with me at all: I simply had migraine headaches, and migraine headaches were, as everyone who did not have them knew, imaginary.”

Either way, I’ll gladly accept a cure for both afflictions — or at the very least a medicinal treatment for my anosmia. Advil can help with a migraine, but sometimes, I just wish I could smell.

The Boiling Point. Mikhaela Reid is a political cartoonist whose...

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:08:00 -0400

The Boiling Point.

Mikhaela Reid is a political cartoonist whose work has appeared in the L.A. Times, Boston Phoenix, and the Advocate, among others. She’s got an entire collection posted on Flickr that is well worth checking out. Unless you’re a conservative Republican, in which case I can’t really help you.

Techno's first pioneer was a young British woman born in 1937.

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 06:55:00 -0400

Techno's first pioneer was a young British woman born in 1937.: This track — to what is being widely considered the first electronic dance piece ever — was conceived in the mid-’60s by Delia Derbyshire, who according to one bio, “believed that the way the ear/brain perceives sound should have dominance over any basic mathematical theory, but as with most things in life it is important to know the rules in order to advantageously bend or break them.” It worked. Also check out “Blue Veils & Golden Sounds” to hear her invent ambient years before Brian Eno.

Ryan Adams is not finished talking, thank you.

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:40:00 -0400

Ryan Adams is not finished talking, thank you.: He was the best blogger in the world for, like, four months and he’s probably working on four new albums while we speak — undoubtedly the best new records you’ll hear until his next four albums come out six months later. But for now, Ryan Adams has agreed to publish a book through New York’s Akashic imprint and you’d better get your reading glasses tuned up: it’s bound to be the indie rock War & Peace. (Incidentally, I believe every word of this post. For reals.)

The Notwist “Boneless” I’m knee deep in...

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 12:31:00 -0400

The Notwist “Boneless”

I’m knee deep in Shakespeare right now — long story — so there’s not much time to read anything that doesn’t use the words “thy” or “ere” right now. There is always time for a new video from the Notwist, however, and the second single for The Devil You + Me is “Boneless” — which is apparently a tale about a glue-huffing skater who lives in Mexico. Go figure!

Breaking: You Can't Get Drunk On Beer.

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:28:00 -0400

Breaking: You Can't Get Drunk On Beer.: The research, from a Yale professor of physiology, is from 1955, but still. Also, it’s like liquid bread.

The demise of Scrabulous has been greatly exaggerated. The first...

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 16:13:00 -0400

The demise of Scrabulous has been greatly exaggerated.

The first screenshot of the “official” Scrabble Facebook app makes me sad for corporate designers everywhere.

How to write with style, by Kurt Vonnegut.

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 16:06:00 -0400

How to write with style, by Kurt Vonnegut.: Style is a largely subjective thing, but there are rules to guide us. Vonnegut best nails it in one sentence: “If a sentence, no matter how excellent, does not illuminate your subject in some new and useful way, scratch it out.” (via)