The Acid Test: Dave Holmes

• DOWNLOAD | BILL JANOVITZ “Atlantic” Up Here, 2001

For the second installment of the Acid Test — in which I ask people that you may or may not know questions that I probably wouldn’t ask them in a real-life conversation — I’ve elected to recruit television personality and all-around good guy Dave Holmes.

Dave began his career in 1998 as the runner-up in MTV’s Wanna Be a VJ contest, but totally pulled a Jennifer Hudson — outshining and outlasting contest winner Jesse Camp, who was, much like Fantasia, kind of insufferable to watch. He didn’t get the Oscar for his role in Fantastic Four, but if the analogy sticks, Dave’s Dreamgirls moment is forthcoming.

When you first heard the Jesse & The 8th Street Kids album, did it feel like you won the “Wanna Be a VJ” contest after all?

You know what? I loved that Jesse & The 8th Street Kids album, and I honestly thought it was going to be huge. Poor timing, I guess. Had it come out a month before or three months after, it might have gotten a fair listen. It could still have a second life. It could be the Eddie & The Cruisers of albums. (Emphasis track: “Summertime Squatters.”)

P.S. I get asked about Jesse every day of my life. Every single day. If I’m sick, and I only leave my house once in a day to get Kleenex at 7-11, someone at that 7-11 will ask me about Jesse. That’s not a rebuke; I don’t mind, I promise. (Which is a good thing, because really: every single day.)

I’ve watched 20 minutes of “Jersey Shore” in my life. How about you?

I consider myself a huge fan of Jersey Shore, and I think I’ve seen maybe two episodes. You get the point kind of quickly. But there are some wonderful, indelible images, like Snooki and Ryder sit-dancing on barstools in a nearly-empty bar. Classic television. It’s the Moon landing for the youth of today.

Would you say that you technically came out when you proposed to Joe Strummer on “120 Minutes”?

Pretty much. I’d been out the whole time, but it kind of flew over people’s heads. It wasn’t hip and cool to be a big fat nerdy gay guy back then the way it is now, so I guess viewers thought I was kidding. Incidentally, I would have gone through with the wedding, if only he’d said yes. My loins cried out for Jeff Timmons from 98 Degrees, but my heart belonged to Joe.

You seem super busy; you haven’t updated your Tumblr in two days! What have you been up to lately?

I’m writing a book! It too is on Tumblr. It started as a parody of those “doing crazy things for a year” books, wherein I’d only read those kinds of books for a year and write a book about it. But, as these things go, I am currently Learning Valuable Lessons. Also, I’m hosting DVD on TV for FX, and goofing around onstage at ImprovOlympic West in LA. And I’ve started doing triathlons and marathons and whatnot, so I’m about to start training season. Basically, I’m drawn to life experiences that don’t result in any meaningful compensation.

I know how that feels. Last question, then: What is the one song everyone needs to be listening to right now, at this very moment?

Besides “Summertime Squatters?” Recently, I’m finding myself listening to Bill Janovitz’s “Atlantic” over and over again. So should you.

Photo: Kevin McShane